Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Maggots

I was inspired by a contest for embarrassing and funny holiday stories. So I will try to post one story everyday or at least every week. Here's my first one.


Two Christmas' ago my niece was sitting on my lap and noticed one of our craft ornaments we made about ten years ago. It was a glass ornament filled with popped popcorn. They are really cute. I took it off the tree and showed it to her. As I held it I noticed that it was filled on the bottom with half dead maggots. I jumped up and threw it away screaming eww the whole time.

Now at this time my older sister was pregnant with her third child. When she's pregnant she is very prone to vomiting from gross things or smells. Well my family asks me what's going on and I explain about the maggots. My sister starts dry heaving and saying "stop stop" So, my brother starts saying "Calm down, calm down, it's okay. It's okay. Maggots!"

So, my sister jumps up and runs to the restroom and commences vomiting. All the while my brother is giggling demoniacally while my mother scolds him and his wife slaps him upside the head.

Well, later on my sister's husband shows up after his shift at work and we decide to tell him about the maggots and vomiting. My sister says it's fine to tell the story even though my mother protests. My brother in law makes a comment involving the popcorn and licking butter off the popcorn bag as my brother likes to do. Well, this combined with the maggots totally grosses my sister out, which was his intention.

She jumps up, vomiting and goes like ten feet out of her way to hit him on the way to the bathroom. As her husband laughs and claims how he's in so much trouble my sister calls from the bathroom "Get me some new underwear you jerk! I threw up so hard I peed on myself!"

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